I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
