Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
