hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
