How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
