Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Randomize
