he thought i was a dude.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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