I feel like I'm in dance class right now
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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