Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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