Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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