cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
