i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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