I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
