belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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