thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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