Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
