the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
