Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
