Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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