Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Someone signed my nipple.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
