I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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