U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
