I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
