You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
