Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
