Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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