hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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