We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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