Your tits are I can't wait for
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
