I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
