I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
