I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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