so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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