shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
