I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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