He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
