what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
