i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
