You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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