Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
