he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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