he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am available for nakedness
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
