we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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