She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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