I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
