All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
