i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
