my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
