i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
