when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
