How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
