Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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