I need help removing her.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We have started to decorate penises.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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